Revenge Is Sweet
by whitetyger123
Summary: Just a few stories me and my friends made up in which bad things happen to bad people... or just people we hate.  Very OOC.  Please R&R!  Pritty please!
1. Boy's Bathroom

**Revenge is sweet**

Boy's Bathroom

Harry and Malfoy bumped into each other. Literally. 'Watch where you're going, Potter.'

'Alright, Malfoy, let's settle this once and for all. Tomorrow, at the beginning of lunch, meet me in the third floor boy's bathroom. Be there, or be square.' Harry was so proud of himself for coming up with something to say that sounded cool.

'Fine. But don't bring the mudblood or the Weasel.'

'Then you can't bring the two airheads.'

So, that's how Harry and Malfoy ended up in the third floor boy's bathroom at lunchtime. Of coarse, Harry told Hermione and Ron about it, and also told them not to come. But, being the good friends that they are, and the fact that they both knew that Harry would be dead if they left him alone, they followed him.

Harry walked into the bathroom. Malfoy was already there.

'Wow, Potter, you actually showed.'

'Wow, Malfoy, you aren't with your two bodyguards.'

It was then that Ron and Hermione came in. 'Hey, Granger, I knew you were a boy!'

Hermione pointed her wand at him. Then, like a good little witch, she turned him into a toad. Not a frog, they don't have nearly enough warts.

Harry picked him up. 'What do we do with him now?' Then he spotted the toilet. 'I know.' So, Harry put the Malfoy/toad in the toilet and flushed. The only problem was that half way down, the spell wore off. Malfoy turned back into his normal sized self. So basically, he was stuck.

He would have remained that way, had Hagrid not needed the bathroom at that moment.

'Alright, you three, you might wanna clear out.' He sat down, and a minute later, Malfoy was unstuck. He emerged from the lake with poo and pee covered robes. His hair, usually slicked back, was now spiky. He walked back to school with all the dignity he had, which wasn't much.

Revenge is sweet.


	2. Ferret

Ferret

This story takes place when 'Professor Moody' turns Malfoy into a ferret. My form of events is a little different then what actually happened.

Moody, instead of turning Malfoy back, put a lock charm on his ferretishness and just pretended to turn him back. So, while Malfoy was still a ferret, he thought he was human.

'Come on, boys.' He said in a very high pitched, squeaky voice. 'We have to go to charms class.'

Moody had conveniently slipped away. Crab and Goyle either didn't want to hurt Malfoy's feelings by telling him he was still a ferret, or they were too stupid to think up the sentence.

When they were walking past a food tray, Crab and Goyle got distracted. While they were distracted, a first year saw Malfoy. She thought he was cute, so she put him in her bag and went to hide him in her dormitory. She took him out of her bag, but screamed and dropped him when he started talking.

'Put me down! Do you know who my father is? Put me down this instant!'

'But, ferrets don't talk….'

'Do I _look_ like a ferret to you?'

'Well, actually, you do.' Malfoy opened his mouth to protest, then closed it again. He walked out of the dormitory, and a while later came to Moody's office.

'Change me back! Change me back!'

'Sorry, Malfoy, but I can't. I put a lock charm on it, so no one can undo the spell. You'll just have to go on living a magical ferrets life.'

After pouting for a while, Malfoy remembered that he had charms class. He ran as quickly as he could, but with his little legs it took him twenty minutes to get to charms. He walked in, and at first no body noticed. But, then one of the girls saw the blond ferret walking into class forty minutes late, and she screamed.

Flitwick had already heard about what happened, and understood why he was late. Malfoy sat down beside Crab and Goyle.

Halfway through the class, Flitwick heard an explosion. He looked over to see that, because of his tiny hands being unable to hold the wand properly, Malfoy had blown himself up. There were pieces of him everywhere. Eyes, ears, tail, fur, everything. Then, by some miracle, the pieces started putting themselves back together. But, as you can imagine, this is no easy task.

When Malfoy was finished putting himself back together, he resembled a Picasso painting.

Revenge is sweet.


	3. The Brain

Brain

"Ron!! Don't touch the brain!"

Ron, Harry and Hermione were in the brain room in the department of mysteries. (Which the movie left out…) Just after Harry told Ron not to touch the brain, Harry bumped into the aquarium… thing that the brains were in, breaking the glass. One of the piece came flying off almost like it was controlled by magic, cutting the top of his head clean off. He fell to the floor and his brain fell out.

Sensing the other brains floating around it went off to play leap-frog with them. Considering Harry didn't even use his brain that much it didn't make that much of a difference other then he kept on scratching the hollow insides of his skull. "Slimy…" He said with a smile on his half-face.

Shocked, Ron and Hermione started talking to each other. "But… No one can live without a brain!" Hermione was starting to hyperventilate.

"We should put it back in…" Ron stated, while watching the energetic brains leap over each other.

"But which one is it?"

"Does it really matter? Any brain would be better then the one he had!" Ron said with a serious look on his face.

"Ok then…" Hermione grabbed two random brains and brought them over to Harry and Ron. "So, which one?"

"Umm…" Harry looked at each brain in turn and stated "I like the pink one!"

"Harry," Hermione said in a controlled voice "They're both pink…"

"You know, the one with all the fold-y things…"

"Right…" Ron said, picking one of the brains out of Hermione's hand. "Here you go…Let's just hope that you will become as smart as Hermione now."

He plopped the brain into Harry's head and then took the top of it and welded it back on. "Let's take you to St. Mungo's to fix your head…"

-At St. Mungo's-

After recovering, Ron and Hermione were surprised to see that Harry now had an IQ that was higher then his age or shoe size. He was now able to mathematical equations in his head that he hadn't been able to comprehend before.

'Two plus three is… five!'

'Amazing! Just last week we asked him the same question, and he said seven!' Hermione was dazed.

But, alas, it could not last. Harry's head was simply not used to this mental capability. So, when Hermione asked him ten times ten, the unavoidable happened.

BOOM

Harry's head exploded.


End file.
